So today I did.
I said I was wrong to do what I did...leave...and I was sorry...I hurt her very, very badly and she is about the worlds sweetest person...and if she could see her was clear to work things out, it would make me very happy.
But AL...what about the hookers and the kink club and screwing the crazy gal from the office (remind me to tell you guys about THAT!)????? SHHHHHHHHHHHHH! PLEASE! I'm having a MOMENT here.
Anyway...she was ready for it...and said she doesn't think she can trust me (or anybody really again) and that's about where we left it. Knowing her I think that's about it. The worst part was where she said that the one thing she counted on was that I wouldn't leave her. That hurt...because I did. I didn't want to but I did.
So although I didn't put a time limit on it really, I'll be very surprised if we reconcile and for that I am profoundly sad. And I would not have been able to move on without having tried. Now I REALLY don't know what's going to happen next.
One thing I DO know...I am going to Bikram Yoga with my oldest daughter. Right now. More later.