A Cry On The Fly

So the Heart of Al goes out to all my blogging buddies who for one reason or other are stuck in realationships that that don't fit them anymore. Some are contemplating breakup, some already have.

I left my wife of five years, whom I still love and damn, if I wish I didn't. Damn, if I wish I could have stayed. Damn, if I don't miss her every-fucking-day regardless of how crass and capricious and cavalier I may seem to be.

Damn, I wish I could hate her...or at least be indifferent. Maybe that would make it easier.

Damn, if we will ever get together again.

Damn.

OK Girls, Line Up Over Here Please...

...shit, I wish!!

My friend, secrets has this on her blog...which you guys ought to read BTW, and I was curious:

What Color Rose Am I?

You Are a Blue Rose

You represent the unattainable and fantasies Your vibe: larger than life and intoxicating Falling in love with you is: like seeing a whole new world

What Color Rose Are You?

Just a little commercial for a single guy (shoot, it's my blog, why NOT?!)...

I AM...thoughtful, brave, loyal, kind, maybe not so thrifty but nobody's perfect...I'm decent looking, employed, relatively ambitious, and I do know my way around a p@ssy and a conversation. So if you are a Pacific Northwest kind of girl or if you want a "hook-up" when you visit up here drop a line! Al_Laddin@clearwire.net

Thank you.

Me?...Pure?...C'mon...

...hat tip to Joe Flirt and TrueSelf...

You Are 16% Pure

You've been a very bad girl or boy... And you probably enjoyed every minute of it.

How Pure Are You?

I'm just a HAPPY little Devil!

Happy...happy...happy!!!!

I Got Tagged...

...by Wandering Hubby (Thanks, WH! You are one of my fave reads.) with the "Music Meme"!

Which is:

1. Go to the Billboard #1 Hits listings (scroll down and you’ll see them separated by decades on the left in the sidebar)
2. Pick the year you turned 18
3. Get yourself nostalgic over the songs of the year
4. Pick 5 songs and write something about how these songs affected you
5. Pass it on to 5 more friends

So this is really, really, reeee-ally late...and it's here. Thanks BJ, and my heart goes out to you.


Wow...OK. I was a "counter-culture" type in those days...I have not changed much. Oh yeah. And I was really not listening to a lot of "Top 40" by then...but...

Oh CRAP!!!!! I just read the @#$%ing list! HOW AM I GOING TO PICK FIVE?????

Here are the top 75 sellers for 1969:

1.	Build Me Up Buttercup - Foundations (Billboard High Chart: #3)
2.	Sweet Caroline - Neil Diamond (Billboard High Chart: #4)
3.	Na Na Hey Hey Kiss Him Goodbye - Steam (Billboard High Chart: #1)
4.	More Today Than Yesterday - Spiral Staircase (Billboard High Chart: #12)
5.	Proud Mary - Creedence Clearwater Revival (Billboard High Chart: #2)
6.	Son Of A Preacher Man - Dusty Springfield (Billboard High Chart: #10)
7.	My Way - Frank Sinatra (Billboard High Chart: #27)
8.	Honky Tonk Women - Rolling Stones (Billboard High Chart: #1)
9.	Something - the Beatles (Billboard High Chart: #3)
10.	Sugar Sugar - Archies (Billboard High Chart: #1)
11.	Stand By Your Man - Tammy Wynette (Billboard High Chart: #19)
12.	Touch Me - Doors (Billboard High Chart: #3)
13.	I Can't Get Next To You - Temptations (Billboard High Chart: #1)
14.	Bad Moon Rising - Creedence Clearwater Revival (Billboard High Chart: #2)
15.	Hooked On A Feeling - B.J. Thomas (Billboard High Chart: #5)
16.	It's Your Thing - The Isley Brothers (Billboard High Chart: #2)
17.	Come Together - the Beatles (Billboard High Chart: #1)
18.	Grazing In The Grass - Friends of Distinction (Billboard High Chart: #3)
19.	Traces - Classics IV & Dennis Yost (Billboard High Chart: #2)
20.	Hawaii 5-0 - Ventures (Billboard High Chart: #4)
21.	Everybody's Talkin' - Nilsson (Billboard High Chart: #6)
22.	My Cherie Amour - Stevie Wonder (Billboard High Chart: #4)
23.	Hot Fun In The Summertime - Sly and the Family Stone (Billboard High Chart: #2)
24.	Someday We'll Be Together - Diana Ross and the Supremes (Billboard High Chart: #1)
25.	Down On The Corner - CCR (Billboard High Chart: #3)
26.	Suspicious Minds - Elvis Presley (Billboard High Chart: #1)
27.	Everyday People - Sly & Family Stone (Billboard High Chart: #1)
28.	Crimson and Clover - Tommy James and the Shondells (Billboard High Chart: #1)
29.	Time of the Season - Zombies (Billboard High Chart: #3)
30.	Love's Been Good To Me - Frank Sinatra (Billboard High Chart: #75)
31.	Twenty Five Miles - Edwin Starr (Billboard High Chart: #6)
32.	Worst That Could Happen - Brooklyn Bridge (Billboard High Chart: #3)
33.	Get Back - Beatles (Billboard High Chart: #1)
34.	Ruben James - Kenny Rogers & the First Edition (Billboard High Chart: #26)
35.	A Boy Named Sue - Johnny Cash (Billboard High Chart: #2)
36.	Gimme Gimme Good Lovin - Crazy Elephant (Billboard High Chart: # 12)
37.	You've Made Me So Very Happy - Blood, Sweat and Tears (Billboard High Chart: #2)
38.	Give Peace A Chance - John Lennon (Billboard High Chart: #14)
39.	Isrealites - Desmond Dekker and the Aces (Billboard High Chart: #9)
40.	Wedding Bell Blues - The 5th Dimension (Billboard High Chart: #1)
41.	Alice's Rock and Roll Restuaraunt - Arlo Guthrie (Billboard High Chart: #97)
42.	Stand! - Sly and the Family Stone (Billboard High Chart: #22)
43.	These Eyes - Guess Who (Billboard High Chart: #6)
44.	Green River - Creedence Clearwater Revival (CCR) (Billboard High Chart: #2)
45.	Yester-Me, Yester-You, Yesterday - Stevie Wonder (Billboard High Chart: #7)
46.	Put A Little Love In Your Heart - Jackie DeShannon (Billboard High Chart: #4)
47.	Eli's Coming - Three Dog Night (Billboard High Chart: #10)
48.	Jingo - Santana (Billboard High Chart: #56)
49.	I Can Hear Music - Beach Boys (Billboard High Chart: #24)
50.	Memphis Underground - Herbie Mann (Billboard High Chart: #44)
51.	Lay Lady Lay - Bob Dylan (Billboard High Chart: #7)
52.	Kick Out The Jams - MC5 (Billboard High Chart: #82)
53.	Leaving On A Jet Plane - Peter Paul and Mary (Billboard High Chart: #1)
54.	The Boxer - Simon and Garfunkle (Billboard High Chart: #7)
55.	I've Gotta Be Me - Sammy Davis, Jr (Billboard High Chart:#11)
56.	I Got a Line On You - Spirit (Billboard High Chart: #25)
57.	I'm Gonna Make You Love Me - Suremes and Temptations (Billboard High Chart: #2)
58.	Kozmic Blues - Janis Joplin (Billboard High Chart: #41)
59.	Crystal Blue Persuasion - Tommy James and the Shondells (Billboard High Chart: #1)
60	Something In The Air - Thunderclap Newman (Billboard High Chart: #37)
61.	In The Ghetto - Elvis Presley (Billboard High Chart: #3)
62.	Suite: Judy Blue Eyes - Crosby, Stillsand Nash (Billboard High Chart: #21)
63.	Aquarius/Let The Sunshine In - the 5th Dimension (Billboard High Chart: #1)
64.	Listen To The Band - the Monkees (Billboard High Chart: #63)
65.	Spinning Wheel - Blood Sweat and Tears (Billboard High Chart: #2)
66.	Chelsea Morning - Judy Collins (Billboard High Chart: #78)
67.	Commotion - CCR (Billboard High Chart: #30)
68.	Yesterday, When I Was Young - Roy Clark (Billboard High Chart: #19)
69.	And When I Die - Blood, Sweat and Tears (Billboard High Chart: #2)
70.	The Pledge of Allegiance - Red Skelton (Billboard High Chart: #44)
71.	Pinball Wizard - The Who (Billboard High Chart: #19)
72.	Am I The Same Girl - Barbara Acklin (Billboard High Chart: #79)
73.	Hot Smoke and Sassafras - The Bubble Pupply (Billboard High Chart: #14)
74.	Marrakesh Express - Crosby, Stills and Nash (Billboard High Chart: #28)
75.	In The Year 2525 - Zager and Evans (Billboard High Chart: #1 )

And HERE are the actual #1 Songs Week by Week in 1969:

Hot 100 number-one hits of 1969 (USA)

These are the Billboard magazine Hot 100 number one hits of 1969.

Issue Date	Song	Artist
January 4	I Heard It through the Grapevine	Marvin Gaye
January 11	I Heard It through the Grapevine	Marvin Gaye
January 18	I Heard It through the Grapevine	Marvin Gaye
January 25	I Heard It through the Grapevine	Marvin Gaye
February 1	Crimson and Clover	Tommy James & the Shondells
February 8	Crimson and Clover	Tommy James & the Shondells
February 15	Everyday People	Sly & the Family Stone
February 22	Everyday People	Sly & the Family Stone
March 1	Everyday People	Sly & the Family Stone
March 8	Everyday People	Sly & the Family Stone
March 15	Dizzy	Tommy Roe
March 22	Dizzy	Tommy Roe
March 29	Dizzy	Tommy Roe
April 5	Dizzy	Tommy Roe
April 12	Aquarius/Let the Sunshine In (The Flesh Failures)	The Fifth Dimension
April 19	Aquarius/Let the Sunshine In (The Flesh Failures)	The Fifth Dimension
April 26	Aquarius/Let the Sunshine In (The Flesh Failures)	The Fifth Dimension
May 5	Aquarius/Let the Sunshine In (The Flesh Failures)	The Fifth Dimension
May 12	Aquarius/Let the Sunshine In (The Flesh Failures)	The Fifth Dimension
May 17	Aquarius/Let the Sunshine In (The Flesh Failures)	The Fifth Dimension
May 24	Get Back	The Beatles with Billy Preston
May 31	Get Back	The Beatles with Billy Preston
June 7	Get Back	The Beatles with Billy Preston
June 14	Get Back	The Beatles with Billy Preston
June 21	Get Back	The Beatles with Billy Preston
June 28	Love Theme From Romeo and Juliet	Henry Mancini
July 5	Love Theme From Romeo and Juliet	Henry Mancini
July 12	In the Year 2525 (Exordium and Terminus)	Zager and Evans
July 19	In the Year 2525 (Exordium and Terminus)	Zager and Evans
July 26	In the Year 2525 (Exordium and Terminus)	Zager and Evans
August 2	In the Year 2525 (Exordium and Terminus)	Zager and Evans
August 9	In the Year 2525 (Exordium and Terminus)	Zager and Evans
August 16	In the Year 2525 (Exordium and Terminus)	Zager and Evans
August 23	Honky Tonk Women	The Rolling Stones
August 30	Honky Tonk Women	The Rolling Stones
September 6	Honky Tonk Women	The Rolling Stones
September 13	Honky Tonk Women	The Rolling Stones
September 20	Sugar, Sugar	The Archies
September 27	Sugar, Sugar	The Archies
October 4	Sugar, Sugar	The Archies
October 11	Sugar, Sugar	The Archies
October 18	I Can't Get Next to You	The Temptations
October 25	I Can't Get Next to You	The Temptations
November 1	Suspicious Minds	Elvis Presley
November 8	Wedding Bell Blues	The Fifth Dimension
November 15	Wedding Bell Blues	The Fifth Dimension
November 22	Wedding Bell Blues	The Fifth Dimension
November 29	Come Together / Something	The Beatles
December 6	Na Na Hey Hey Kiss Him Goodbye	Steam
December 13	Na Na Hey Hey Kiss Him Goodbye	Steam
December 20	Leaving on a Jet Plane	Peter, Paul and Mary
December 27	Someday We'll Be Together	Diana Ross & The Supremes

OH...KAY.

Here we go...

The one that sticks out for me right away is the "Love Theme From Romeo and Juliet". I was (and still am) such a romantic little sap. I had fallen for this cute gal in our crowd (the "Be-In Crowd"? lol) and she had dumped me. For a stupid "molecular biology" student at the local University! What the Fuck!?!?!? Broke poor little Al's heart. It would NOT be the last time.

How about "Heard it Through the Grapevine" for #2? Marvin Gaye was beginning to cross-over and dominate the Top 40 Radio the way he (and the rest of the Motown Stable) OWNED the Soul Charts. He would release landmark album "What's Goin On" in 1971. THAT album would do much to change the face of music as we know it, ushering in the era of the personal statement albums by singer-songwriters. There still may be no better example of a generously talented artist creating an intensely personal and searingly political masterwork than this.

"In The Year 2525"...what was it PT Barnum said about underestimating the intelligence of the American public? What a piece of crap song. I hope those guys did OK with the royalty checks. Not that I thought they started out trying to deliberately make a dumb record (see Archie's, The..."Sugar, Sugar), but if they did they succeeded brilliantly. I used to cringe when it came on.

"Suspicious Minds" ELVIS!!!! was back. What a great record for him with "Elvis in Memphis" which had "Burnin' Love", "Don't Cry, Daddy", "The Ghetto" and the great "Kentucky Rain". The TV Show in 1968 had set the stage and Elvis was back. It was the beginning of the end.

The Beatles had three Number One's and "Get Back" was the most significant even though it was purely a McCartney song. It was a real raw rock song with minimal production after all the brilliant gorgeous and ground breaking studio albums. Sir Paul was still concerned with Lennon's opinion and after John died the "editor" was gone and his writing quality pretty much went in the crapper.

So there ya' go, I would get my first job as a bar musician in 1970 and spent almost all the next 15 years playing and singing all over for your listening and dancing pleasure (I was ALWAYS there all week and NEVER forgot to remind you to tip your bartender and your lovely cocktail waitress...who I earnestly wanted to fuck and could never go home with). What a great life that was!

OK...TAG, you're it to:

Joe Flirt - A man figuring it out...with attitude!

Nightside Jonny - This guy is worth the time. Nice writing on my favorite subjects.

Desperate Husband - A great guy in a tough spot. Hmmm...if I tag him will he write more?

Dive Bar Dancer - She Dances, She Writes (well!!)...I'm in LOVE!!!

Underachieving Mommy - I keep dragging Nanette over here and she keeps being nice to me.

I'd tag Oblivion (my secret sweetie...DON'T TELL HER!!!), but she just started a new job and is probably "roped".

Now back to our regularly scheduled programming...thanks BJ for yanking me out of the gutter for a while.

What A Fool Believes...

...or "Hooked on a Feeling"

6/18/2007

Dearest Jay-mee,

So I know this guy, see…he’s a good guy. Regular, got problems like everybody, but a good soul. And he met this girl. This a-MAZ-ing girl, he says. He says that he’s “seen” her a couple times. I know what he means. He’s an adventurer, this guy…he says he’s on this “journey of discovery”. He wants to discover himself. He may not seem like it to look at him or to be around him, but he was really inhibited and repressed with sex all his life. He and I talk…about everything, really. Lot’s of reasons, he’ll tell you…like the time when he was at confession (he calls himself a “recovering catholic” I’m sure you know lots of those) and being a good little Catholic boy of about…oh…seven, eight maybe…he took the whole thing very seriously, the Church, the Eucharist, the Sacraments, altar boy, the whole nine yards…so he told this priest, this old parish guy, seen and heard it all…twice probably…and an alky most likely, sick of the whiners and adulterers and thieves and liars and self-righteous prigs…maybe banging an altar boy or a nun (or both) on the side…so this sweet little kid, my friend, he reaches down, screws up his courage…’cause he want to be honest, and he tells this old parish guy, “I-I-I touched myself.”

DEAD SILENCE from the other side of the screen. They had these screens in those days. And you could hear the murmur from the other side where another poor soul was spilling just enough of what they thought would save ‘em from the hot place (the priest was in the middle between two doors with this sliding wood thing behind a screen so you couldn’t really see who the priest was and when it was your turn, that old wood would scrape and the air would change and you’d start: “Bless me Father for I have sinned, my last confession was (and you say how long it had been since you asked God to make you clean again…so He and His Son could save you…’cause if you weren’t clean FIRST…you couldn’t be saved). And the old wood smelled like sweat and scared breath and folks afraid of what God would do to them for just being FOLKS…ferchrissakes.

So dead silence…and the old guy was counting the beads of sweat popping from the little fella’s brow…the old guy knew…he could hear ‘em. Then he said, in his low voice, heavy with practiced gravitas…”I’m trying to figure out whether this is a mortal sin or not.” Then he went quiet. And he waited for the words to sink in…MOR-TAL SIN. The sin (for Catholics) that would send you straight to hell. STRAIGHT. TO. HELL. For ALL eternity. Of course the poor kid, my friend, was scared shitless. And of course this old asshole priest knew just exactly what he was doing to this poor kid and another brick in the wall of the Legacy of the Catholic Guilt was laid. Now my friend, he loves to tell this story. And he doesn’t attribute all his sexual fucked-up-ness to the incident…but it was a lot of stuff like that and what he learned about sex from his Mom…who is a WHOLE ‘nother story…and him being a little passive, not so assertive with the girls, when he was younger, and then his whole “cock problem” thing like he calls it, where he used to feel like he didn’t have one, ‘cause maybe he needed a little more chemistry with a girl or something…but even if he REALLY liked or even loved her he had a (not so) hard time. But he says vitamin “V” pretty much fixed that. He actually says “Uncle Pfizer gave him his cock back.” Fucking Big Pharma’s good for something after all.

Anyway...This girl..He says he never laughed during sex before. He never had a great time getting his cock worked on like she did to him. He says he was laughing so much that she was wondering what was going on. He said he wanted to talk more but he was having, and he said this; “So goddamn much fun.” That he didn’t talk like he usually does…he likes to talk, he says…and he was so happy with playing with her tits (he says they are amazing and I believe him, I mean, he’s seen ‘em, I haven’t) and he just went on and on and on about her pussy and how responsive she was and how he hoped she wasn’t getting bored with all the fun HE was having and that he didn’t even get to get to the kink he wanted to try (‘cause he says he gets pretty creative) and that maybe they could get to that sometime. And I started to get a little concerned and well, I said…”Wait a minute there, Cowboy…you can’t be getting’ SPRUNG on this gal. She’s…uhhhh…well, ummm…she may LIKE you, but not in THAT way, capiche?” My friend, he gets pensive…”Yeah,” he says “I know. From where we started, and for how we “met” and what we “do”…that’s just not something that ends up happening, or even being a good idea.” “But stuff like that happens, doesn’t it?” “Oh yeah. Guys get the signals confused all the time. It’s easy, really. It’s easy to misunderstand or “forget” what’s going on. Happens a lot. Sometimes…rarely…it works out. Once in a Blue Moon, they say. Mostly, though…not a good idea.” “Does she know you like her?” “I HOPE so. I mean she said to call and email whenever…I think she’s sweet to say that, and I think I know that she knows that she likes me pretty well, and I’m glad. I really like how we get along and what we do. But the other…you know, I’m like 20 plus years her senior…she’s got lots of “friends” and a busy life. She sounds pretty happy about who she is and what she does.” “Oh so you think maybe she’s thinkin’ that you’re thinking that you and her…?” “Yeah, maybe that…” my buddy says “Man…I hope not. Not like I wouldn’t, and not like we don’t get along, but…no. I wouldn’t want her to think I think that. I mean she IS really amazing, man, she’s like my sexual muse. I have never, EVER been like that…and I have been having so much fun that I haven’t even gotten to MY kinks…” “OK, OK…we’ve been there already…” I interrupted…”we’re pals and all…BUT…” “Yeah, OK…” He says, “but man, I think about her and I just start laughing…she says she wants my dick to get hard when I think about her and me...did I tell you that? Well guess what?” And this biiiig grin lit up his face. Now I have never seen him grin like that, and I’ve known him a long time. He’s just been through a real bunch of shit lately and it’s great to see him so happy.

“So what now, man? You aren’t really…” I can’t help it. This has got disaster for this poor sucker written all over it if he gets all...well if he doesn’t “understand” or “get” the situation. “Well, I just really like her. Not as a “girlfriend”, ‘cause I know that is not gonna happen. Probably SHOULDN’T happen even if it could. I mean, for myself…I don’t want a primary exclusive relationship with anyone, anyway. I just don’t think I’m built that way anymore. I can probably do poly. I want to try it. Maybe I can find a bunch of like minded and like-hearted folks…I kinda don’t know where to start, but the CPSC may be a good place. I want to participate in the “lifestyle” in a more “out” way, I think. I’m easing into it. Besides…I’M very busy, I’m so happily single I can’t stand it sometimes, and I want to drink in whatever comes my way.” So this journey of his, it looks good on him. He does really like this girl…and he really doesn’t want to “insert” (her word, not his) himself where it’s not appropriate or wanted. Oh..and he says he would like to be kind of a “regular”. I knew what he meant. I’ve wanted to do that myself. I hope it works out. One thing about my friend, he’s very sensitive about keeping stuff where it ought to be. But he’s decided that he doesn’t want to miss out on anything, either. No regrets for not doing something he wanted to do…but didn’t.
Wow…long story, huh? Sorry about that, I get a little carried away. This guy, he’s a good guy. He says this gal is “aces”, too. He said a couple times how besides how much he liked her, he respected her for what she does…ALL the stuff…and her commitment and ambition. He’s a big fan of people, this guy is. He’s in it to have fun (he seems to be REALLY having fun), keep good boundaries and communication, and respect the “parameters” of the “relationship”. I don’t know WTF he was trying to say, but I guess he said it, didn’t he.

I'm So Lame...

...I think I can't read you guys stuff unless I post something.

An ego maniac with an inferiority complex.

That's me.

It's only been nine days.

Dear Diary...

...sorry for the dearth of posting. I've been busy, exhausted, lazy, (writers) blocked, activity averse, seemingly all at the same time.

How-Everrrrrrrrr....

I have also...changed offices, done good business, started a major new project and been fucked to within an inch of my life!!!! You bet I'm gonna write about THAT (session two will be coming/cumming up next week)!!!!!

So Al's got lotsa grist for the mill now...just gotta let it all out!

Later y'all.