Wednesday, September 5, 2007

Have Love? Will...

I commented over at Joe Flirt's place about paying a "pro" for sex. There are "Escort Blogs" and "John Blogs" and some of the folks in my blog roll are escorts and johns or sex workers of some type. The comments in Joe's post though, were from folks who didn't have any kind of experience on either end. I may get flamed for my comment on Joe's blog and the preceding remark, but let's go ahead and talk about it for a minute, and have at me if you want.

I have a number of reasons why I want to see a paid sex worker:

1) Variety. I can see a lot of different women. Folks would not really believe the disparity of looks and body types and personalities. The women rarely look like Julia Roberts or Audrey Hepburn. They're more likely to look like your neighbor Susan...who wants to lose 20lbs., or your Aunt Helen who looks like, aunt helen. Sure there are 20-something hardbody's as well. Like I said, diverse.

2) I can have sex when I want/need to have it. I stated that I am coming off a broken marriage. I have never been a great "womanizer", and I won't lie to someone to get them in bed and "break up" with them a week later...or just not call...or any of the "fifty" other ways we leave our lovers. Besides most "sane" women won't go near a recently split-up guy for at least a year. Can't say I blame 'em.

3) Improbable sexual experiences. Example: I had a three-some. THAT would probably never happen. One woman was a for real porn star. THAT would definitely never happen. Both were drop-dead gorgeous. Again...under normal circumstances...snow-ball's chance in hell. OK...indulgent and decadent to an extreme, and kinda expensive...and unbelievably fun. It blew me away!!! So sue me.

There's more that I want to blog about on the subject, and I will, but I have met and had experiences with some really interesting people. Most of the women, and especially the ones I am drawn to are really, really bright, some are very accomplished, many are working professionals whose or un or under-employment led them to this occupation and almost every one I've seen cares and enjoys what they do. I think I can tell THAT...(the faking thing, maybe not so much).

Having said all that...OK, OK...there IS a real layer of artificiality as well. I am NOT going to find a's not an audition. Rarely does a gal find a guyfriend from her client list. It does happen with famously mixed results, mostly bad. But no matter what happens, how good the time is, how good the sex is, how well "connected" we get...I go home alone. No wondering whether I should call the next sweet churning in the gut when I'm looking at the phone.

It's just sex. For hire.


I'm going to pre-emptively strike something here and toss out the "gender equity as it applies to pay for women" card. It's disgusting that smart, effective, talented women rarely earn as much as their male counterparts...or have the same employment opportunities. I'm just sayin'.


Joe Flirt said...

Anyone that flames you for your comments isn't really worth listening to in the first place.

We all have different standards, setting, and choices. What works for one may or may not work for another.

As long as you are happy with your choices, that is all that really matters in the end. (Provided it hurts nobody else, and I will go on record that I do not view a "pro" in this fashion. Assuming she is choosing this life. So no harm no foul).

I of course appreciate your candor and views.

Bad Bunni said...

Hey I've known sex workers and much like you found them often to be smart and educated (although that may be because they were mainly "college call girls" using escort gigs to pay tuition at reputable universities).

And don't worry honey, I got your back.

Serenity said...

You're kind of overlooking the whole friends-with-benefits angle. Much cheaper, but with all or most of the same experiences of paying a "pro." It is possible to find a woman who wants the same thing you do-- no strings, no obligation, no guilt.
Although variety would be the stumbling block there, no getting around that, though with the right openminded FWB, who knows. Sky's the limit.
I think i've just talked myself into something. Gotta go!

Selena Kitt said...

Nope, friends with benefits isn't the same thing at all. Because for the most part, friends with benefits are actually denying lots of real feelings. It requires two very unusual people to do "friends with benefits" without ANY strings, hidden or seen, at all. Paid sex, on the other hand, is just a business arrangement. Clean. Simple. Totally different thing.

Al Laddin said...

Thanks Serenity and Selena...that was a quick and succint discussion of both sides of the issue. I'm gonna post on it.

Mandy said...

Most men I see don't want to leave their wives, they just need this service. And they do want at least a simulation of emotional connection, too. But it's also true that "you're not paying her for sex, you're paying her to leave." That catty/casual statement sums up a lot of truth.