Cleaning Out the Draft Folder...and Other Ramblings.

I'm gonna clear out the draft folder here, and I don't know WHY I feel I need to subject anyone to some of this crap...but...I've come to some conclusions about the bloggy world and my place in it, and besides...it's MY blog. So there!

I am so inspired by the people I whose blogs I read, the painful and joyful honesty, the freedom to air out the inner meanderings and passions. Like so many of the others I read, I'm sooooo busted if any of this comes out, but I feel like I need to open up somewhere...I guess this is it. It'll get uglier and prettier (or both at once) as we go along, so take my hand and let's go, shall we?


Mood Swings

I wrote this about a month ago, the date stamp says 2/20/07. I was saving it to post later (or not) but it seems interesting to me now...as in: "Who the hell wrote that anyway?"

So...from out of the misty past...

I am crazy as a shithouse rat today. Oh. My. Gawd.

Got dem 'ol financial blues again, mama. Got the dayam...am I in deep shit with my obsession about internet sex blogs... blues again. Got the...I'm obsessing over "I really want to see my hooker and I am scared shitless about my SO finding out because we're doing so great in and out of the sack"...verse as well. I could write a fucking blues opera here.

Ok, ok. Let's do what we can do.

1) Nose to the grindstone. Stuff is just stuff and I can get back up in fairly short order. A couple months of hard work and moderate luck in my business usually takes care of $$$ problems.
2) I am sprung on people, bloggers, that AREN'T REALLY THERE. How fucked up is that. We of the blogistan go to incredible lengths to disguise who and what we are, creating elaborate alter-egos, doppelgangers and alternate realities...and I get tweaked about this stuff??? Puh-lease.
3) Can't do #3 without #1, buddy. Fact of life. Thoughts on sex with my SSSSO will follow in another post, but suffice it to say right now that we turned...or should I say SHE turned a real corner this weekend. Thing is, trust is involved. Trust that I am taking and playing around with. Dire consequences could, will and really should ensue.

Which head do I really want to think with?

Thanks, virtual pals, I feel better now.

Too Much Sex???

From 2/22/07:

Mother of pearl!!

I never thought I'd get to this but maybe father time is giving me a tap on the shoulder. I AM into middle-age now, I've got the mysterious aches and pains and despite that I have energy and do a LOT of stuff around my art and my business and my kids and friends and all that and I loooove to fuck. I hope that has been firmly established here.

So a combination of lack of sleep (my SSSO is a night owl...she also has rls related sleep problems), a serious financial problem (i.e. self-employed...waiting for a sale), and general business and personal pressures (I have already revealed I am out of my fucking mind...no joke, that)...and my tumid member is more "id" than "tum". That is the brain and the circulation are not "at one". Even with the help of Uncle Pfizer.

Night before last...ok erection, no cum. Last night, a little stiffie...lights out, nobody home. This morning my cock feels well, sensitive...usually I don't feel the cock. It just sits there during the day...no particular awareness one way or the other. Today the feeling is front and center. The surface, the interior (which I don't remember feeling in this way before) and the base of operations...yes!...under THERE. Not in a great way either. Just...weird.

I hope I didn't break it (heh, heh).
(I actually told S4O she broke it. She thought that was funny.)

Here's a pic for HNT.
(4/1/07 THAT hasn't made it yet...coming soon! Al. HOWEVER...who really gives a shit about naked or half-naked GUY pictures. Really. Enquiring minds want to know.)

I'm thinking of trimming down there. How much? I don't know. I'll try to look it up.
(4/1/07 I ended up doing a nice trim...looks and feels great. Ought to try it, guys. I'm gonna shave the balls soon to see what that's like.)

Okey Dokey!

Looks like everybody's gettin' ready for the weekend and Al is no exception. Except for my job can get kinda 24/7 and I will be working this weekend. That's just ONE of the bullshit reasons I think I can give myself permission to whore or to go to a "attached but looking" site...because I'm under sooooo much stress, and things frustrate me at home, and whaaaa-whaaaa-whaaaa.

Fact is I'm indulgent and I'm sooo sure I'm having a mid-life crisis (ANOTHER crock-o'-shit excuse? Ya' THINK?). And with that kind of airtight logic I can give myself permission to potentially wreck some stuff...actually MY life won't be so wrecked but someone I say I care about deeply will not really be able to understand how someone she thought she knew could...well..lie. I can go forward with another visit to Jenny...the two-girl fantasy...or not...I don't know. Will he, won't he. Hmmmm.

On a lighter note:

Auntie is visiting and really...it's a favorite time of month for me. How could that POSSIBLY be the reader may ask, seeing as how Al is absolutely addicted to S4O's sweet pussy (I mean really really sweet, too). Well...it's like this: I get to tease. And tease I do. Tease, tease, tease, tease, tease. And I get to fuck my little slut's mouth (hat tip to Des and Sir) and get my meaty cock licked and sucked like the aptly named "Blo-Pop". Yum. And I get to whip some tit and spank some bottom and creep close to "forbidden" places (she's very modest) with my fingers, not too close...but close enough so that I can distract her a little and then attack with a few fingers under the ribs or a thumb and forefinger suddenly really TIGHT on a nipple or my mouth HARD on hers my tongue invading and my hand grabbing and gripping a delicious tit and squeezing...all in one swift motion...well coordinated movements, calculated to take mere seconds to elicit a gasp and a groan. I know she wants cock in her pussy after that and I know she knows she's gonna have to wait. So delicious to tease, tease, tease, tease, tease...and tease some more. The best part is when she looks up with the "How can you DO that to me?" look. She gets back an even stare and a sexy smirk, knowingly. "It's easy."

That's what I'M talkin' about.

Al Laddin...The Interview!!!

(Gawd, I'm weird!)

The Beautiful Ms. Oblivion, from Day In the Life Of Oblivion posted this the other day:

Five Question Interview Meme

I am answering the questions and I am also taking the rules from Cat as is. No need to change a good thing...

The Rules: Leave me a comment saying, "Interview me.” I respond by asking you five personal questions (I will leave these questions for you in my comments) so I can get to know you better. If I already know you well, expect the questions may be a little more intimate! You WILL update your journal/bloggy thing/whatever with the answers to the questions (please don't leave your answers in my comments unless you don't have a blog). You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the post. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

Here are the questions Cat asked me...

So I asked to be interviewed and the Beautiful Ms. Oblivion obliged. Here are her questions and my answers. I would love to interview you, too. Just leave your request in the comments!

1. What made you decide to start blogging?

Politics. Part of me is very political. I was feeling very powerless over events and the type of information I had access to (and the way I felt that information was “slanted”). That was in about 2001-02. I found a few political and/or topical blogs that I felt validated my point of view, supported my beliefs and let me know that there were others like me that were involved and wanting to agitate for change. Later I started my own political blog (which maybe had two or three readers, lol) and I participated actively in the comments on a VERRRY lively local political blog (LOTS of divergent views, reasoned and unreasoned arguments and juvenile name calling).

I am still passionate about politics (for reasons of equity, equality, Social and Economic justice) and a lot of the really awful polarization saddens and drains me. So I decided…after deeply deliberating for about oh…five minutes(!?) that I’d blog about sex and relationships instead. I suppose I know as much about that as most, less than some, more than others.

I guess I’m also somewhat of an exhibitionist, baring my thoughts and stories and secret confessional stuff that I really hope nobody I know, and/or particularly one or two people won’t see.

2. Name one thing you are passionate about and why.

We don’t usually treat ourselves very well…so we sometimes have trouble treating the others in our lives well. We get treated crappy or have awful things happen to us at random or at the hands of others and we take it out on the folks around us sometimes.

I’m an old (cynical nowadays, though) hippie. Love doesn’t cure EVERYTHING, but if we loved ourselves and others more and/or better, LEARNED how to love ourselves and others better, and were just KIND to one another…I think this would be a much better place. Don’t you? I feel for you in your situation, for example (I was in a similar spot once), because you clearly don’t deserve what you’re getting, but the doof doesn’t seem to know any better…and he’s losing you for it.

3. If you care to share (please :) ) Where did you grow up and did you like it? (do you like how I get two questions in one?)

You’re a clever one dearest Ob! OK. I grew up in the middle of a grand old neighborhood in a great city in the Northwestern US, and just LOVED it. Then my folks did the white flight thing to the ‘burbs. I HATED it and I went sideways with drugs and rock’n’roll. Not enough sex, though. I’m making up for that now.

4. What kind of music do you enjoy listening to?

Blues, Jazz, Country, Classical, Old Rock, New Rock, Red Rock Blue Rock! I play an instrument and got to make a living as an itinerant bar musician. I loved that life. I just LOVED it. I still play as much as I can and listen to everything all the time.

5. Name one thing you wish you could do over or one thing you wish you could take back.

I’ve been fretting about this one all day. I’m middle-aged so there are many, many thousands of gallons gone over the spill-way. Oh shoot…here goes nuthin'.

As much as I love S4O, and I DO so love her, I wish sometimes I hadn’t married again...not because of her (my Gawd, no), just because. My kids were closer to being gone and I was done with the full time (single) Dad thing. So that’s my take back.

The do-over is with my daughter from the Ex's first marriage who grew up with me. She got lousy, lousy, lousy parenting while her Mom and I were fucked-up over the Ex’s drinking and associated bad stuff. The daughter lives close now is doing really well and I get to help her like I couldn’t then, but I screwed that one up pretty good. I’d like to do that one over.

Long-winded sucker aren't I?

Thanks Ms. Oblivion for the opportunity. You need to take over for Couric. You are SOOOO much better as an interviewer and sexier too!

She's The One

I am SSSSO's husband. And there is no doubt that I am her guy and that she (unfortunately for her) worships the quicksand I walk on.

For our purposes here she is the "Super Sweet Sexy Significant Other", because she has GOT to be the sweetest person God or Goddess ever created.

Super Sweet. A girl's girl. I love to see her with the daughters, or other gals; laughing, talking, sparkling like she does, and she DOES sparkle. Me, ever the pervert, would love to see her with another girl...sparking. Sigh...maybe someday.

She IS sexy. Not tall, not lithe, quite curvy...she wears her motherhood well. She has her own brood, and she has taken on mine as well. She just has this guileless Mid-Western "Sexy-As-Hell" in a casual, non-commercial way look about her. And when she is feelin' it...the naughtyness...the sort of in spite of herself at first kind of naughty...then the come-on, a little resistance, which just crumbles when she gets to the "yummmm" of the naughty. Damn. She is cute AS HELL when she gets going.

Desireous' "Sir" had a dead (I guess) blog or comment or something about turning good girls naughty.

I did that. See how ashamed I am? See? See?

How about S4O for short? That'll work, won't it?

Those Thrilling Days of Yesteryear!!

Update:

Dang!

I originally wrote this post 2/20. How time flies when one is out of control.

My new ATF blog is How About Now! Apparently I am not alone; Mandymania is sweeping Sex- Blogistan and why not? She's sweet, she's smart (very) and she's Super Duper Sexy!!!...not trying to be a smartass, gang, just reaching for a superlative...waaay out of Ol' Al's league...but this man does love to dream!

Anyway, the lovely Mandy and her (equally lovely, I'm sure) pal "PowerGirl" went to see the artist known as "Folk Rocker". Now in another lifetime, actually about five or SIX lifetimes ago, Ol' Al was a travelling musician. Not renowned, not too well travelled but I had the privilege of making a living by working a musical instrument and singing the hits of the day six nights a week from 9pm to 1:30am at your favorite hot spot.

The narrative of that adventure sent Homey G here back to sweet days of yore:

Hey Mandy-

Gawd…I wish I was Folk Rocker.

I ALWAYS wished I was FR, or even the guitar player.

I was the bass player (really). Off to the side, off to myself…literally and figuratively. Just off.

I was in Colorado Springs for a month playing at the Black Angus Restaurant (THE Hot! Spot!). It was beautiful country, of course. One of the great things about being on the road in those days, the 1970-80’s, we stayed for two weeks…one, two months maybe. Got time to get to know people and places. I fell HARD for the cutest girl…small (in a GREAT way), brunette (always my fave), sweet, SMART, and “Complicated” (remind you of anyone?!). She swam. Her chosen one was the swimmer. Lean, lithe with longish brown hair. She’d come to see me and hope would spring anew, but I left with the most broken of hearts. Sue N. We both had Czech ancestry. I thought it was a sign. I thought anything was a sign.

I also was bedding a wiry, intense, sweaty (not in a bad way…her skin just got moist), blond girl from New York who had a couple kids and was sprung on ME, the poor dear. I thought drinking Black Velvet in my coffee in the morning would eventually induce me to write like Dashiell Hammett or Raymond Chandler (what it did was almost turn me into Kenneth Millar…but without the writing ability). She told me I was going to become an Alcoholic and she was right…I’m 20 years clean and sober this year…and after I moved to Santa Barbara we fucked some more and she eventually got tired of my callow, druggy self importance and moved on. My loss.

Thanks for your post. Your writing is great. Thanks also for the “memory jog”.

Cheers, Al

Bad Bloggy Buddy...Bad!!!

Busy, BUSY, busy.

So I have to work...I'm actually going to ramp up my efforts so I can indulge myself in the new and enhanced "hobbies". Unfortunately this "sexy" hobby is expensive, really whether I go at it with my SSSSO or not.

Got some posts saved up, and I'm gonna let em go here in a minute.