I am so inspired by the people I whose blogs I read, the painful and joyful honesty, the freedom to air out the inner meanderings and passions. Like so many of the others I read, I'm sooooo busted if any of this comes out, but I feel like I need to open up somewhere...I guess this is it. It'll get uglier and prettier (or both at once) as we go along, so take my hand and let's go, shall we?
Mood Swings
I wrote this about a month ago, the date stamp says 2/20/07. I was saving it to post later (or not) but it seems interesting to me now...as in: "Who the hell wrote that anyway?"
So...from out of the misty past...
I am crazy as a shithouse rat today. Oh. My. Gawd.
Got dem 'ol financial blues again, mama. Got the dayam...am I in deep shit with my obsession about internet sex blogs... blues again. Got the...I'm obsessing over "I really want to see my hooker and I am scared shitless about my SO finding out because we're doing so great in and out of the sack"...verse as well. I could write a fucking blues opera here.
Ok, ok. Let's do what we can do.
1) Nose to the grindstone. Stuff is just stuff and I can get back up in fairly short order. A couple months of hard work and moderate luck in my business usually takes care of $$$ problems.
2) I am sprung on people, bloggers, that AREN'T REALLY THERE. How fucked up is that. We of the blogistan go to incredible lengths to disguise who and what we are, creating elaborate alter-egos, doppelgangers and alternate realities...and I get tweaked about this stuff??? Puh-lease.
3) Can't do #3 without #1, buddy. Fact of life. Thoughts on sex with my SSSSO will follow in another post, but suffice it to say right now that we turned...or should I say SHE turned a real corner this weekend. Thing is, trust is involved. Trust that I am taking and playing around with. Dire consequences could, will and really should ensue.
Which head do I really want to think with?
Thanks, virtual pals, I feel better now.
Too Much Sex???
From 2/22/07:
Mother of pearl!!
I never thought I'd get to this but maybe father time is giving me a tap on the shoulder. I AM into middle-age now, I've got the mysterious aches and pains and despite that I have energy and do a LOT of stuff around my art and my business and my kids and friends and all that and I loooove to fuck. I hope that has been firmly established here.
So a combination of lack of sleep (my SSSO is a night owl...she also has rls related sleep problems), a serious financial problem (i.e. self-employed...waiting for a sale), and general business and personal pressures (I have already revealed I am out of my fucking mind...no joke, that)...and my tumid member is more "id" than "tum". That is the brain and the circulation are not "at one". Even with the help of Uncle Pfizer.
Night before last...ok erection, no cum. Last night, a little stiffie...lights out, nobody home. This morning my cock feels well, sensitive...usually I don't feel the cock. It just sits there during the day...no particular awareness one way or the other. Today the feeling is front and center. The surface, the interior (which I don't remember feeling in this way before) and the base of operations...yes!...under THERE. Not in a great way either. Just...weird.
I hope I didn't break it (heh, heh).
(I actually told S4O she broke it. She thought that was funny.)
Here's a pic for HNT.
(4/1/07 THAT hasn't made it yet...coming soon! Al. HOWEVER...who really gives a shit about naked or half-naked GUY pictures. Really. Enquiring minds want to know.)
I'm thinking of trimming down there. How much? I don't know. I'll try to look it up.
(4/1/07 I ended up doing a nice trim...looks and feels great. Ought to try it, guys. I'm gonna shave the balls soon to see what that's like.)
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